Finding Love in the Hopeless Place

Name: Hasan

Age: 24

Country: Saudi Arabia

He positions himself for me to enter him but I am totally soft. He tries to get me hard by stroking me but it isn’t working. I tell him if he wants to get me hard he will have to kiss me. But he gestures towards his mouth and ear and he draws an X in the air. So I understand that he doesn’t do kissing on the lips or on the ear. But he keeps stroking me. Again I tell him it won’t work as he doesn’t want to kiss. He leans against the wall before he looks at me and points to his ear and mouth again and shook his head. And I finally understand. He’s deaf.

I am 25 years old and I had given up all hope of finding love. All I had was the virginity that hanged on my neck like a locket. But everything is about to change.

I have traveled to Hong Kong for my vacation. For my last night in the city I have decided to spend it visiting the one night market called Mong Kok where the object of my desire is located; a 24-hour sauna called Alexandria. Excitement defines my state; who knows when I will have this chance again.

And so at 9pm I set foot in Alexandria. I collect my towel and key after paying the discounted entrance charge. After I strip and wrap myself with the towel I explore the sauna. It’s bigger than the one I visited the day before. It boosts a large open shower, a befitting Jacuzzi with a television playing porn movies. Then there is a steam room, a lounge with a television that has news on – sauna customers are very interested staying up to date -, and a dark corridor with private sex rooms on each sides.

So I hop into the shower to cleanse my little body and I spot a young and cute Chinese guy. His possession includes a nice toned body and really beautiful eyes – just the type I crave. I am immediately smitten. But I remember about the sauna rule. I look him in the eyes to make sure I am sending the message clearly. I see him checking me out. Then he turns off the water and enters the steam room. I follow him.

In the crowded steam room, all of a sudden, several hands are stroking his body, in something that might resemble Britney Spears in “I am a slave for you”. I get close to him and our hands touch. I feel electricity shooting through my brain.

Pushing everyone away, he takes me by the wrist, away from the mob to a corner in the steam room. I kiss his neck as my fingers are working his nipples. He slaps my butt and walks off. A canvas of confusion covers me.

Am I supposed to follow him now?

I don’t know what else to do so I go after him. My efforts are in vain – he is nowhere to be seen. I think to myself that if he wanted me he would have made himself found. I go to the Jacuzzi and sit a distance away from another guy before another young guy comes and sits right next to me. He starts playing with my nipples, licking my body before going down on my member. A middle aged man passes and stops to watch – you would think it is a scene taken from L’inconnu du lac. But after a while I ask the guy to stop. He isn’t really my type.

My mind is busy with the image of the cute guy. Before long, mother universe has responded to the laws of attraction.  He comes into the Jacuzzi sitting away from me. I keep looking at him to make sure that he takes notice of me. He looks at me and then away. He gets off the Jacuzzi; he seems not to be interested. I want to get out too but I decide to wait for a minute as I don’t want him to think I am stalking him or something.

I get off the Jacuzzi and I decide to go into the steam room again. All of a sudden a hand grabs me and pushes me into the furthest corner of the shower area: it is him. He grabs a condom, put it on his member and walks towards me. My mind freezes. So far I haven’t seen anyone in the saunas having sex in public; they would go to the private rooms. He turns me around and tries to put it in. I am too tight. He takes me to the steam room and motions for me to sit on top of him. I try. But needless to say this virgin boy doesn’t know what do. There other guys are looking and that doesn’t make things easy. I get up and indicate that we should go to another room. In my head I don’t even know if I really want to do this: I can’t think straight. All I know I am completely taken by how cute he is. I grab him by the arm and as we pass the lounge heading towards the rooms he motions for me to wait. He goes to drink water and then walks ahead of me into the dark corridor. I follow him. It is dark and for a moment I think I have lost him. He takes my hand and leads me into the private room and closed the door behind us.

As I lay on my back, he takes the condom from the dispenser. He puts lube on it and around my entry. We try a few positions but it is not working. Then finally he put on some lube on his fingers and prepares me. And then when he starts everything stops and I see the rainbow filling up the room. I am thinking to myself, I have just lost my virginity to a stranger in this miserable place. In fact I have paid money to lose my virginity. What am I doing? But I can’t stop; it feels weird, a bit painful and good at the same time. I stop him after every one minute and we start again. We change positions and when I am tired I pull myself out of him.

He positions himself in a way for me to enter him but I am soft. He tries to get me hard by stroking me but it isn’t working. I tell him if he wants to get me hard he will have to kiss me. But he gestures towards his mouth and ear and he draws an X in the air. So I understand that he doesn’t do kissing on the lips or the ear. But he keeps stroking me. Again I tell him it won’t work as he doesn’t want to kiss. He straightens himself up and embraces me. We stay hugging for a while. He leans against the wall before he looks at me and points to his ear and mouth again and shook his head. And I finally understand. He’s deaf.

I am shocked and I nod my head before I hug and kiss him. He looks at me and draws a heart shape and points at me. I look at him and smile. Did he just tell me he loves me?! I don’t know what to think; everything is happening too fast. He tells me when we go outside we should exchange phone numbers. We hug and kiss for a little while then we go into the shower. We then go into the lounge area and chat for about an hour. He teaches me how to say a few things in sign language. He shows me pictures of his friends and family. I learn that he isn’t from Hong Kong but from Guangzhou. He is leaving Hong Kong the following day just like me. And we decide to meet the before leaving Hong Kong.

But before we leave, I want to have him. I take him to the private room. I am hard now. I wear a condom put some lube and heaven is within reach. It feels strange but I like being inside him. When we have seen the kingdom of heaven we embrace with the angels for 10 minutes then we hit the showers.
It is 1:00am I reach the hostel tired and sleepy. He is supposed to text me when he reaches the place where he is staying. So I wait holding the phone close to my heart, afraid that I might sleep and miss his text. I am thinking to myself that I am a fool and that he won’t text. I miss him. The whole thing seems like a dream to me. My reverie is cut short when he texts. We agree to meet to the following day.

At 10:00am he is holding my hand as we walk the streets around the harbor area. He does three things when we walk: embraces me; touches my hand; and showers me with kisses. He says we should take a picture together. We ask a guy to take a picture of us in front of the harbor. We find a seat and we stop to chat for a while. He says we should buy each other postcards and write something in them and only to read after we have left Hong Kong. We go to a stall nearby and do that.

He holds me very close to him while we walk. He never lets go of my hand. Even at the Starbucks he keeps holding me tight next to him. He tells me that we should buy two shirts and write on the tag a dedication for each other. We go to H&M and do that. Then he gives me a picture of himself from his wallet and writes “Sweet Dear Hasan I will miss you very much”. He asks me to keep it and remember him all the time. I take off my necklace and give it to him. He says he loves me. I tell him I feel the same.

As I say goodbye to him at the train station, I fight hard not to cry. He kisses me before he leaves. But he comes back again for another kiss. He is gone. I am miserable and tears are trailing down my cheek.

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