If you would ask me what is this film about I would say it is partly about guardian angels who come into our lives, to save us, to make us float so we can grow, who touch us and shape our core.
But it is as much about fighting to survive, to exist, to pass a day at a time. It is a movie about pain, the pain that many people wouldn’t go through because they have the privilege of not going through it. The pain of not choosing but being be ascribed to. The pain of expectations, that comes with sitting on the edges.
This movie is about scars and how they manifest in a form of black masculinity, a form so sinister but endearing because we have been conditioned to think of it as the form of acceptable masculinity, /black gangsta masculinity/
The scars of childhood are never easy to heal. I am reminded by Meredith Grey when she said,
“We’re all damaged, it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grown-ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.”
But this is also a story about making sense of the shit our lives, trying to at least. connecting the pieces, the dots, the meaningless and the meaningful. It is about that quest for finding yourself, of making peace with the damage. Learning to forgive.
And then revisiting, to see, to feel again, to live again; continuing with the process of making sense of it all. Trying to smile even with few words.
It is about daring to stand there. Being in the moment. There. Looking. Seeing. Feeling.
I love the end of the film when he says, “you are the only man the ever touched me, I have never been with anyone.” There is some closure, perhaps there is, from daring to say the words.