I Told Her to Abort

Location: Tanzania

So I have hooked up with this guy who has told this really sad tale. We were the only people on Grindr in the entire region. We had met before and I blew him. He wasn’t really my type to be honest, but there is a drought out here and you have to take what comes along. I planned to have sex with him next time. It was not as if he was an ugly beast or anything like that.

When our schedules clicked, he came and we had sex. I didn’t kiss him. I didn’t want to cause I didn’t feel like it. He was taller than me. Slimmer than me. At one time, he put his tongue in my ear and I stopped him. He tried to rim me, but I stopped him after some time. I don’t really enjoy it. It is too ticklish. I blew him and he fucked me. I wanted to. I have been exploring my bottom side for some time. It was good at one time and then painful later and then sweet at the end. Though, I didn’t see god it was time well spent. When I bottom I normally don’t cum. Only once in Sevilla when I saw god.

And then after it was over, we chatted a little. He told me things. I held back. I didn’t tell much about me here and whatever I told him were lies. I don’t trust anyone out here. And either way, it is not as if we would become friends. We are in different classes (not acting snobbish or anything) and we won’t have conversation topics.

He asked me if I had a woman in my life, and I told him yes. A fiancée and we were planning to marry soon. He asked if I had children. I said no. Not yet.

So he told me that he had a woman before. He was 23 and she was 30 something. She approached him and that was how they ended up together. The women he had sex with before approached him. He never makes the first move when it comes to women.

For some reasons, she suspected that he liked anal. She asked him. He vehemently denied. Here, women are either for it or totally against it. I remember during my last job, there was a colleague, a woman, that talked about it with so much disgust. At one time, we were having lunch in the canteen and she broached the subject. “Okay, here we go again as we are eating,” I said to myself. I figured that she really hated it. So this guy when he got asked, he thought twice about it and decided against it.

One day, she offered it to him. He was hesitant. She said it was his. He was hesitant. She pushed it and he took it. He liked it. He suspected that it wasn’t her first time, although she said it was a bit painful. The following day she wanted again, but for a shorter time.

And then, they headed from Dodoma to Dar-es-Salaam and she got pregnant. He abhorred her with every part of his being. He said something that I have heard before. I have always wondered it it happens to men in other countries. In other continents. When I grew up they used to say that sometimes when the wife is pregnant, the husband might be the one who experience hormonal changes, mood swings. He can have morning sickness. He can hate certain dishes. He can even hate his wife. Apparently, this was what happened to him. He hated her, and the more he did, the more she loved him. She just wanted to see him, just to be with him. Even if he didn’t say anything.

He took up drinking but every time he did, he vomited. The food couldn’t go down. So he told her that she had to abort. She didn’t want to. He said that he would bewitch her if she wouldn’t abort. She got scared because he comes from one of a tribe that is famous for witchcraft. He gave her €57 to go and abort. He said the moment he gave her the money, the hatred went away and the mood swings went away.

Then, they had sex for like three or four times after that. They fought a lot. They were unhappy. He cheated on her with another woman. She shouted at him and he cursed her.

Then one day, she memorized his phone password and went through his messages. She told him, “my husband (even if they were not married), I will pray so that you can change.”

“She was the best woman if she didn’t push me too much. Only if I loved her” that was the last thing he said before he left.

We agreed we will only chat on Grindr. We will not exchange numbers. We don’t know each other’s names. The only thing I know about him is that he sells honey and that he is a Muslim. What he knows about me are lies. Perhaps, he did the same.

But I didn’t know with whom to be sorry for. Him or her. He said that he felt the baby was a boy. Can you believe that a baby was aborted because the father was gay and he realized he wouldn’t be able to go through with it. Can you imagine being a woman falling foe a gay man who tells you to end the life of your unborn baby? Sad! I am speechless.

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