What should you expect if you are thinking of hooking up with a Dutch? 8 points from personal experience of what you might expect. Of course the rule of the rule of thumb is that they don’t have to occur to everyone.
- Dutch guys are super chatty. They want to know everything about you. This is after you have sent them photos of your assets. They will start the conversation in Dutch. And then when they realize you are not Dutch a barrage of questions starts. Where are you from? What are you doing in the Netherlands? What do you think of the Netherlands? Have you learned Dutch? What do you think of it? Do you like Dutch boys? Be prepared.
- It might take some time before you meet them. They seem unsure and sometimes not prepared to meet you straight off the bat. You might get agitated because the action is not happening. They want to get to know you more, that is what they will tell you. They want to be sure, perhaps, that you are really who you say you are. Someone told me that Dutch guys can be lonely and its manifestation is the incessant need to chat, intermittently, spread out over a couple of days. They want a connection with someone, but not a real meetup. “What have you done today?” type of question will be the staple of your days.
- Sexting. I am not good at it. I never learned. I leave it to the rest because it sounds stiff and impersonal. Unnatural. But hey! That is me speaking. Dutch guys like the back and forth of sexual innuendos, during this drawn out period. “I wish I had you inside me now.” Be prepared.
- They want to know exactly what you will do to them. When it comes to meeting, the Dutch guys will ask you questions, like in an interview, or more correctly an essay competition, to describe what exactly you will do to them. When you are topping you are in for even more questions. Which style do you prefer? Where do you wanna cum? How long can you fuck? Do you want me to wear or not wear something? When did you last cum? Who did you last fuck? Do you wanna drink something before/after the action? Do you fuck hard or gentle? Etc. Etc.
- If you are new in town, have you had sex with someone else. When they realize you are a new, they will want to know of your recent hookups. They want to know if you hooked up and when you hooked up and possibly how was the experience. At times, I was asked if I have hooked up with many Dutch boys. Sometimes, a boy might ask you if you have brought many guys to your place. They are really sizing you up.
- Sex date. I was not aware of the usage of the word date as per the interpretation of the Dutch gays. I always felt awkward when they said, “you wanna date tonight?” In my head I was, “this is a hookup, not a date”. I never heard sex and date put together. So be prepared to hear and hear sex date. In your mind think, SEX. I asked a Dutch guy I hooked up why they say sex date and he said, “well it is a date because you plan it.” Like in other places people don’t make arrangements for sex and still they don’t call it sex date. And then I realized this fits well with this image of Dutch as strictly by the schedule. In NL, people plan to meet their friends for a drink (borrel) sometimes three months before.
- The Dutch invented “busy”: They are very busy, at least that is what they say. This ties well with the previous point of “making time to get their sexual urges extinguished”. Although, many guys will tell you that they are busy, which might be totally true as I have never checked their schedules, don’t be surprised to see them all the time on Grindr. They’re not busy when it comes to that. The busyness of the Dutch comes when you have to meet them.
- Are you clean? I wonder why would anyone ask this question, this way. Clean? What is clean? Douching that is clean. I wish they would ask “What is your HIV status/Do you have STDs?” Having HIV doesn’t mean that you are “dirty”. I am sure there are many people who will have sex with someone who is HIV+ while taking precaution. I don’t normally ask if someone is clean. I tell them to be clean.