Respecting The Coming Out Process

My memories are normally tainted, marred like misty windows, but this one is vivid, was and still is. I saw him for the first time and my heart stopped. Something happened within me, something that can be characterized as a crush. It was 1998 and Ricky Martin had found a way towards the living room…

Anal Sex – Tanzania’s Perspective

“Sex against the nature of the body”, that is how anal sex is referred to in TZ. Ngono kinyume cha maumbile.  Growing up, I knew that anal sex was frowned upon in TZ. It was really a collection of anecdotes, stories and gossips that all sought to highlight that my country took a issue with people having…

Homosexuality – A Gender Issue

At an early age, growing up in Tanzania, I knew that there was something intrinsically different about me, at my core; the first anxiety that came in a wave was a gendered one. Somehow this identity that was in me, this thing that I was harboring, alone, this thing that differentiated me from the boys, seemed…

Straight Label Rejected

The case for the renegotiation of straightness with the hope of chipping away the oppressive language towards homosexuals For years, my conversation has largely borrowed the word ‘straight’ to refer to heterosexuals, males to be specific, as it has been more pertinent; its relevance stemming from the need to find my place, to define myself,…

Death of gay-straight male friendship

In 2010, I was supposed to go to Chile to manage a program in a University. Part of the process was the starting of the conversation with students in the program. One of them was Nicolas. Sadly, the program was scrapped off and I didn’t go to Chile. However, my friendship with Nicolas started. I didn’t…

Sexualized Conversationalist

I have been making a lot of jokes; I am a highly sexual person from the topics I indulge myself in. I utter some of the most provocative messages and well everyone knows that I can turn a very modest & innocent conversation into something highly sexual, something adult, something PG 18. I don’t even…